This Blog is going EPIC

The movie I am going to talk to you about is Epic Movie. It's about four orphans who go on an epic adventure to Willy Wonka's factory. When they soon discover he is a psyco maniac. When they go over there he locks them up in a bedroom. He tries to find them for more experiments. When they try to hide from him. Lucy finds a door and discovers what is inside. It's a magic wardrobe!!!! She opens it and finds that it is piled with junk. And well very dangerous. She almosts suffocates because of the plastic wrap guarding the way into Gnarnia. Yes with a g. Along the way she meets new friends, and her siblings come and join her. This movie is a spoof off of Willy Wonka, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter, X-man, Nacho Libre, Snakes on a plane, The Davinci code, and well Paris Hilton. Yeah it's hilarious!!!


Here we have our own Willy Wonka. Which is an amazing dancer might I say!!! Yeah totally excellant!!!! Well anyway he is a major psyco maniac. I mean he lores kids into his factory and traps them in towers and experiments on them. It is pretty scary. I mean creepy. Anyway I'm glad I didn't win a golden ticket to go to him can you imagine. Ahhh!! Seriously though beware of him if you see him on the movie.(if you buy it that is)

This is where Willy Wonka tells them his special secret to his legendary candy. This is what I mean by psyco maniac..... the secret is................. REAL HUMAN PARTS. He said that there would be an itty bitty piece of them in a type of candy literally. It freaked me out when I heard that. When he locks them up he tells them to try his GUMballs. Let's think about it GUMBALLS. I bet it really is made out of real human gums. Some of the candies shown are nutty bars, the box with a suprise(like peter's tooth), sour yellow HEADS, and HEART chocolates. Discusting!!!!

I'm sorry I forgot to mention the four orphans. As you can see these are the people from the movie Willy Wonka. (from left) Agustus, Charly, Veruca, and Violet. Now in Gnarnia they are (from left) Edward, Peter, Susan, and Lucy. These are the unfortunate orphans. They go on an epic adventure. Of course to meet Willy Wonka. It's amazing what Lucy can do. She can solve codes like the Davinci Code, but yet she is so stupid. Peter is trying to seem tough so he can win the heart of his love Mystic or pronounced Mystique. Any way this is a really good movie so I hope you see it.


This is the orphans with Mr.Tubnas's crib. Yes like the show Kribbs. This is Mr. Tubnas's husband Harry Beaver. They are on there way to meet Aslo Liman. Half Lion Half Man. Yes this is a very cool movie. My sister Sarah thinks it's stupid and not funny, but I saw her laugh. Yes I did. So if she laughs you will laugh. Honestly. It might only have one star, but it is good. By good I mean stupid so that's why you laugh. Like on the stuff you put on You Tube. It's stupid, but you laugh anyway. That's kind of like this movie.



This is where they meet Harry Potter and his gang, Hermione and Ron. As you can see these "kids", and I use that term loosely because well they look like they are like 40 or 50. Something around that age or maybe a little bit older. The orphans are training to meet Aslo. Unfortunatly well they have to train and well it gets kind of messy around there. I mean they have to use bow and arrows, wands, and swords. Oh I forgot to mention this movie also has spoof off of Click. Peter freezes time and they deffiet the army because well nobody showed up on there side.

This is Mr.Tubnas and Lucy. He is showing her the front of his crib. Buy this movie and check it out. It's got a little kitchen full of wine. About three flat screen tv's. A hot tub full of goat girls. A breakdancing floor. And let's not forget the bar. Yes it's a very odd crib but who cares. I mean it's just a movie. It's very interesting though. Seriously you should rent or buy it. Then watch it and you'll travel into a world of laughter. Try it out. Really. No just try it out. NOW!! NOW I'M MAKING YOU. TRY IT OUT NOW!!!!!! Seriously you'll love it. Like me or my stupid sister Erin.

Shark week

You heard it this week is Shark Week on the discovery channel. If you haven't seen it you can buy on DVD for only $6.95 plus shipping and handling. At http://www.sharkweekdvd.com/ and buy it. I think I might. If you don't know what channel it is try channel 36. Make sure to check out before Saturday. Saturday is the last day of Shark Week. Oh did I mention that they have some people who you can't even imagine would do stuff like this? Some of the people on there dive with great whites and tigers. Oh how about coral reef sharks they are very dangerous. I remember watching one of the episodes they had on there and a coral reef shark tried to bite off the camera man's arm. It was pretty scary. I mean not for me but can you think about what the camera man was feeling.

The first shark I am going to talk about is the Japanese Goblin Shark. It has been said that they do not bite. How would they eat though? Sure they could eat small fish, but what about humans. Most people believe that they do not want to bite humans, but hasn't every shark mistaken a fish by a human and bite them. I think every shark has. Everyone can think of one shark that has bitten a human. Just a type of shark. I can name 10. In the order of danger. 10. Lemon 9.blue 8. white tip 7. hammer head 4.mako 3.tiger 2. great white 1. bull. I forgot those three in the middle I heard them off of Shark week.

This is the hammer head shark. Now it mostly likes to eat sting rays. It gets mixed up with humans sometimes though. It's not there fault though. I forgot why though. Think about it we kill sharks. Sharks kill us. Now let's think for a moment. We kill sharks because we trespass there homes and kill them for publicity. You know why sharks kill us? They occasionally kill us because either we pollute there waters and they can't find food or they mistaken us for food. Sure if the same sharks kills humans over and over again then sure kill it, but if it attacks once don't kill it's entire species. Honestly the nerve of some people!

This shark, don't even try to kill it. This shark is the poisonous horned shark. It won't eat humans but one touch on it's horns and without medical help immediatly you will die. Just like that. These sharks eat small fish. So they aren't like tiger sharks who eat large fish and mistake humans as food. Oh no. These sharks can kill you without even biting you. I'm not quite sure where these sharks lurk but I can tell you to watch out for them. In fact they are kind of small so lifeguards can't even tell if they are there. They can't warn people about them.

This shark is the whale shark and this is the shark people actually want to swim with. You know why? Well it's because they are so gentle. They don't feed off humans of large fish. Well I guess for large fish. But not humans. These sharks are the biggest of them all. Hints the name WHALE shark. I really would like to swim with these sharks. Unfortunatly I've never had the time to go on vacation to place to swim with these beautiful, harmless, and delicate creatures. I really do love them. I hope one day though I will get to.

This is the sand shark. Yes a sand shark. Personally I worry about these sharks all the time when I go to the beach. Considering they live in the sand. The most dangerous live in the bottom of the coral reef or the ocean on some dunes. All I know is that these sharks don't like to be messed with. So take my tip and always look down befor entering the ocean. It's pretty much my way of know it is safe in the ocean.

This is the tiger shark. People pretty much like to call him the ocean trash can. Anything he find he will chew on. Even humans. Usually he gives his prey a firm bite. If he likes it he will eat it. If not bye bye prey is what he says and leaves. They've eaten license plates and shoes and sometimes fishing poles. Yeah they will eat anything. Like my dad. Except he doesn't eat metal or leather. And above all he deffinatly doesn't canibalize. And that's a fact I have to face. LUCKILY!!! These sharks love to eat sea turtles so if you are on a surf board or boogy board or any floatation device they mistake you for a sea turtle and well bite you. And then they realize your a human.

The mako sharks are really just miniature great whites. Literally. They are agressive and have a very firm bite. Let's just say you don't want to mess with this guy. He rows and rows and rows of many razor sharp teeth. You kind find these in the middle of the ocean of any ocean pretty much. These can attack humans but they try not too just like the great white shark. Pretty much if we follow direction on safety of sharks and don't pollute the water. We are safe and not as much as risk as the shark's prey. So please follow directions and never bother a shark unless you are aloud which is pretty much. So just don't do it.

This is a lemon shark and if you don't bother it, it won't bother you. Well that's rule about most sharks. These sharks really don't have much of a history of eating people. Sure like most sharks they do mistaken humans from fish or whatever their prey might be. Don't believe what the movies say about sharks. The are pretty much saying they are like eating machines you just want to eat people over and over again on purpouse. Wrong!! They don't. There just like us trying to eat.

This is the oceanic white tipped shark. Now these are pretty agressive and yes they will kill you most likely. My sister Erin said that if you are caught dead with one of these your good as dead. No way what so ever are you going to live by one of these unless you are on shore away from them or you are magically right next to a boat's ladder. So most likely you will die from these. So sorry people out there that are reading this. If I am frightening you. I'm just trying to keep you safe.

The last shark I am going to talk about is the frightening shark of all. You've seen him in the movies. The Great White. These infact could be harmless. You see these sharks only see color and eat seals and dolphins. They don't see very well either so if you splash around they mistake you as a seal. Lot's of loud noises can cause it to think of seals too. Like most sharks this one mistakes you as a thing of prey that it would normally eat instead of something it would actually not want to be eating.

This is the Great White Shark. This is when it is about to eat something. Yeah it's pretty scary. And from those jaws of life they could eat you whole. You know if they didn't eat you whole well let's just say you'd bleed to death from those rows and rows and rows of those razor like teeth.

I can't belive I forgot the bull shark. Well this one is the most agressive and well let's just say it has killed people and lurks occasionally in fresh water. If it does lay in the fresh water have no fear. All it is there for is to have it's babies. That way no one can harm them. They won't even attack you. It is sweet. Well anyway this is the shark that has the most attacks. I'll have you know that in texas bull sharks actually rise up on the shores of the gulf and of course suffocate. These sharks are once again fooled by humans. Shiny things like sparkly nail polish or bracelets. Mistake them as fish. So you get hurt. I hope this teaches you about sharks and the safety reason. Thank you for listening and goodbye.

LITTLE GIRLS !!!!!!!

"Little Girls Little Girls, Everywhere I look I see little" Sound familiar? It's from the musical Annie. Well my mom, sometimes, reminds me of Ms. Hannigan. You know, the mistress who owns the orphanage. Well I really hate it when my mommy says, "Little girls took the hairbrush." I remember one time she said that me and my sister Erin took the steak knife and we either took it to play at a friends house or we played out side with it. We love steak knives. I mean Erin I just love the way when you run with them you drop them on your foot and cut them off. Pf! Mommy if your reading this I just want you to know that Erin and I didn't assasinate Abraham Lincoln. Yeah I know you might have thought that but we didn't. You know we don't always do things. Like we always "play with steak knives". Sometimes we " play with a hair dryer". You know mommy I have you know that when you blamed us we found it in your room. Yeah. So mommy in other words................DON'T ALWAYS BLAME US.